A Blog with My Morning Coffee

Good Morning! Is it? The day will reveal itself. I predict a decent day, if my mood can hold. I have class this morning beginning at 7:30 and ending at Noon. Then I'll head to the gym with a good book and read on the bike. This is becoming my new favorite part of the day =) After that I'll come home to clean the house and put together a meatloaf. Mommy is coming over for dinner so I'm cooking something up she doesn't even know I can make! But before dinner I'll head to cheerleading practice at 3:30. So eh, another day in paradise scheduled. The good news is it's Thursday which makes tomorrow Friday and the following day SATURDAY!--my favorite day of the week.

You know, anticipating Saturday is exactly my biggest downfall in life. You may have already picked up on this by reading my previous blogs...I live in the future. That was definitely my problem yesterday. I couldn't just enjoy the sunshine of the day because I knew it would be gone tomorrow. I'm always looking to the day, week, month, and even year(s) ahead. I can't ever just sit back and enjoy where I'm at. Like right now I'm looking to the weekend. On an even larger screen I'm looking for graduation from LC. I'm anticipating my resume, letters of recommendation, and already nervous about the interviews and getting a teaching job. I also can't stop wondering when I'm going to be wearing a ring on my left hand. I've even been thinking about when to stop taking my birth control so it can flush out of my system before Nathan and I start trying to get pregnant. And that is at least 2 years away! (Yeah, like I really have that scheduled out, who knows how far away that is or isn't) I need to stop trying to map out my life and just let it happen. I need to start living for the day. I'm aware that all my dreams may not come true. I'm not Cinder fuckin' ella. And so living this way leaves me wanting.

They say acknowledgment is the first step to recovery.

Fact: I forgot to put on underwear this morning.