College

Wow.  I guess it's time I write in this again.  I've been so busy that every second I don't have to be on this laptop, I'm not.  This little white laptop, which was my prize possession at the beginning of the semester, has become a momento of stress, hard work, and tired eyes.  I tend to avoid it in my free time.  Anyway, I sit here listening to AJ (Yes, Alan Jackson...don't like him?  You don't know real poetry then!) and I guess he's put me in the mood to write myself.

So, I'm almost a senior in college!  I could lie.  You know, give the typical "Oh my gosh, it went by sooo fast" speech, but the truth is...it didn't.  It seems like forever ago when I first started college in the fall of 2005.  Then in the spring of 2007 I took a semester off to work full time at the BGC.  I've taken so many classes!  I can't even count the endless hours of meaningless homework completed for the sole purpose of receiving a grade.  The many tears that fell due to overwhelming stress, hours of complaining, the dark feeling of it never ending...I remember it all.  So, for me, the process seems like a long, ever-lasting one.  The sight of the light at the end of the tunnel is liberating.  

I guess most importantly, I could ask for no greater reward than graduating.  The hardest part is yet to come.  I begin my internship next year, and if I can be successful at that, then I can consider my college career an overall success.  Graduation will be my greatest victory.  It will be the very first thing in my life that I didn't bail out on when things got tough.  I shamefully admit that my personality is to run as soon as things get hard.  I'm not brave.  The fear of failure pushes me away.  So, for once in my life I have made it this far and I only have 1 more year left until I hold that diploma in my hand with pride.  Gosh.  I literally can't feel it.  Not until it happens.  I guess I'm just a little proud of myself already.  Because in two weeks, I am a senior in college.  And in Exactly one year from today I will be putting together the final pieces of my portfolio, preparing for my exit interview, and buying my cap and gown.