Babble

When I lose my mind I like to rhyme...

It's 10:00, I can't sleep
and this stress I can't keep.
If I keep living this way
my mind just might stray.
They say you have to go to college
Am I really paying for this knowledge?
My eyes are hurting, my heads a blur
I look around and there you were.
Right here with me in between
this life would make some feel green.
Yet unsatisfied I manage to be
Oh what spoiled little me.
Shamefully dissatisfied
My life needs modified.

I'm Done

Whoa...Monday hit like a ton of bricks!


Can this week be over with already?

The Reason I Love My Dog

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan

Rain

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very slowly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

-Shel Silverstein

Mental Exhaustion

I think I know why I am so exhausted today...it is because my head is so full of unfinished "to do's" I just have too much stuff in my head. I think this is the reason why I'm so tired on a lot of days. Nathan once told me that my plate is too full, that may be true. Okay, let me elaborate...first of all I can't stop replaying the cheerleading routines over and over in my head. It is taking up a lot of the space in my head right now. We only have two more weeks to perfect these routines and really the girls just learned the routine yesterday, so we have a long ways to go. Then I have so much homework that is due in the next couple of days and next week and everything is started but nothing is finished. I have to tutor on Tuesdays and student teach a math lesson on Thursdays. I have tons of lesson plans due, websites to create, papers to write, and tests to take. I'm overwhelmed as we are reaching the point of midterm. Also known as head deep into it. I can't stand an unfinished list. So while it may seem like no big deal...I just have cheerleading and school taking up my life we can't forget about the other little things I have to take care of...like working at the Club taking up hours of my day that I could be getting homework done. And the dishes, laundry, dinner to be cooked, cleaning house, gym, paying some attention to Nathan...I need a fucking vacation. So, I'm pretty sure this is why I am so tired today...

...Or maybe it's just because I wore my slippers today for shoes.


Fact: I change into my "at home" clothes first thing when I get home everyday.

Stress

What would my life be without it?



That's how I feel today. Stressed. Like always. In fact, today I feel so overwhelmed that I don't even really care. Which is nice. Much nicer than making myself sick over it. I'd rather just not care. As a good friend of mine always reminds me, life is just too damn short.



So...fuck it.



Fact: I'm not always negative

Life

The one and ONLY thing in life that is always consistent and never changing is...



...it goes on.

Exhaustion

I AM SOOOOOO TIRED. I didn't get to bed until almost midnight last night doing homework. Up at 5:30 again this morning, headed to class until noon, worked out, had lunch with mom...now I'm getting ready to head to the 7th/8th grade game and won't get home until 7:00 tonight. Ugh. Is it Saturday yet???!

Stripped Truth

10 Random Things About Me

1. I think it's kind of fun when the power goes out.

2. I'm a planner. I like to have my days and monthly events planned out. Spontaneity is not my style.

3. I love lemons. I cut them in half, sprinkle salt on them, then spoon out the insides and enjoy. Most people find this disturbing--I can't get enough of them!

4. I'm the only chick I know that doesn't like chick flicks. I think they are cheesy and display a false perception of what real love is all about. I like a movie with valid content. Or humor.

5. I'm afraid of the dark. Honestly, seriously, afraid of the dark.

6. I don't have any girl friends because I don't trust women.

7. I think I'm addicted to food. When I gain a few pounds I try to quit eating poor nutrition foods and I can't do it.

8. I go hunting because of the way Nathan looks at me after I kill something. This look generally doesn't leave his face for a few days. Such pride makes me proud of myself. Let this diminish the rumor that I hunt to impress other people.

9. I generally don't cry anymore, I have no reason to unless I'm watching a sad movie. However, when I go a long time without crying the tears fall just because it feels good.

10. Drivers that don't use their blinkers properly are my number 1 pet peeve. I get extremely irritated when a driver uses their blinker too early, too late, or not at all. Especially not at all!

Free Fallin'

This song is my remedy these days...
(remake by John Mayer)

She's a good girl,
Love's her momma,
Loves Jesus,
And America too,
She's a good girl,
Crazy bout Elvis,
Love's horses,
And he boyfriend too yeah yeah,

It's a long day,
Living in Reseda,
There's a freeway,
Running through the yard,
I'm a bad boy,
Cause i don't even miss her,
I'm a bad boy,
For Breaking her heart,

And I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'
And I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'

All the vampires,
Are walkin' through the valley,
The move west down,
Ventura Boulevard,
And all the bad boys,
Are standing in the shadows,
And the good girls,
Are home with broken hearts,

And I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'
Now I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'

Free fallin' now I'm,
Free fallin' now I'm,
Free fallin' now I'm,
Free fallin' now I'm,
Free fallin' now I'm,
Free fallin' now I'm,
Free fallin' now I'm,
Free fallin'

I wanna glide down,
Over Mulholland,
I wanna write her,
Her name in the sky,
I wanna free fall,
Out into nothing,
Oh I'm gonna leave this,
This world for a while,

Now I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'
Now I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'
Now I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'
Now I'm free,
Free Fallin', fallin'
Free fallin', fallin'
Free fallin', fallin'
Free fallin', fallin'


Look it up and listen.

Whatev.

Well, it's obviously Monday. I can tell this because of my stress level--it's gone up again. I left home this morning at 6:45a.m. and got home at 7:30p.m. this evening. Then I started my homework. It's still not complete and I have a headache. (I really need to start wearing my reading/computer glasses and then maybe I won't get these headaches as much.) I just want to go to bed. I also have a friend that I've been wanting to spend more time with the last couple of days. I sure wish I was with him right now as well. I want to talk about things other than myself. And I'm blogging, ironic.

Tomorrow shouldn't be too bad of a day. I'll go to class at 7:30a.m. and get out at 12:00. Then I'll head to the gym for my hour work out. After that it will be time to get my lesson plan in order so I can go Grantham to tutor at 3:00p.m. After that it's home to cook dinner and do more homework (no, that never ends.) No cheerleading or BGC tomorrow so I can't complain too bad.

Well, my lesson plan and webpage are still due tomorrow so I better continue on it.

Fact: I've received monthly headaches ever since I was a small girl.